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Colossal Cock Club

The Ancient and Fraternal Colossal Cock Club had been a sort of gentleman’s secret  for millennia. Since mankind first learned how to corral and properly nourish their Cocks, civilizations across the globe have undergone tremendous development. Inevitably, there were a few individuals who wound up with Cocks nearly too-big to handle.

Eventually, they began to speak with each other in convenient locations of relative isolation in order to share news and information regarding surviving with a Colossal Cock. See, there were days way back that owners would see their Cocks tied up and hauled off to be traveling attractions. Plenty of people made plenty of money running traveling shows showing off whatever they could convince folks to pay and see.

While the well-Cocked have always been known to enjoy showing off for the right audience, the indentured servitude they were forced into left many Cocks feeling flaccid. Several had grown to cleverly manipulate their Cock to look Colossal as long as there was a paying crowd. But significantly smaller-Cocked men were making a mint while those whom fate had excessively endowed themselves were treated as property.

Sadly, Television in particular has been woefully insensitive to the Well-Cocked.

Properly prepared Colossal Cock can be a delight! The key is to abandon any sense of urgency, try to clear the mind of meaningful thoughts, and spend a solid half hour or more nice and relaxed before getting into it.

Everyone learns in school as a child about the Seven Ancient World Wonders, and how the Pyramids are the only ones left standing. History books frequently mention the Cock Colossus of Rhodes as being large, made of metal, and standing for less than sixty years. Seldom is a picture part of the presentation.

Colosssal Cock Club maintains a vast archive of artwork spanning the centuries featuring various portrayals of Colossal Cocks. The Cock Colossus of Rhodes collection is a particularly prized portion of the archive. We’re honored to share those with you now.Members of Colossal Cock Cub also receive a shirt featuring some of the archived art when paying dues.

History does not record whether or not Rhodes constructed the Cock Colossus as a debt to some long overdue respect, or if it was simply the easy choice. What is well-known is that the Greek Gorgon, Medusa, is fabled to have been made to feel turned inside out by the mere image of the Cock Colossus. Her weakened efforts to walk away from one encounter left her in a heap that later became what is now the Rock of Gibraltar.

Joining Colossal Cock Club Is Easy!

Is anything!? Come on, now. Nothing is easier than that jam.

Colossal Cock Club officially accepts all dues-paying members. However, if we see an individual out there lugging around a Cock to his neck who has not paid dues, there’s no limit to the buffoonery that may be inspired.

All applicants are accepted upon payment of dues, which means one a purchase has been completed at our legendary shop. Applicants shall be considered members in good-standing for 360-370 days since the last completed transaction, although any status above “good-standing,” can be altered without notice, immediately at the Club’s discretion.

Benefits should be obvious. Plus, you get to weigh in on Club choices.

There Are Five Shirts

All shirts available in the six colors shown below.

You know what? That shirt looks good! It’ll run you between $15.28-27.10, depending on size and choice of color.

Figure Out Your Configuration

This dude is known to kid around and he laughs a lot with his buddies. Get him around the right group of women and he may as well be Pepe LePue with the trans he goes into. Fortunately, the kinds of girls he digs are digging his incredible Colossal Cock Club T-shirt.

$15.28.27-10 variably. Get A Peep!

Hell yeah, Colossal Cock Club is open to all souls who know the realities of negotiating a Colossal Cock’s presence in our lives. 

Check This One In The Shop

This guy says he’s never had more confidence than he does when he’s wearing this Colossal Cock Club shirt. Says that with it on, he’s pulling more box thanan Amazon DC.

Have one for yourself

Now, HERE is the shirt you all want. Shamelessly let onlookers know that the rest of us well-Cocked would still be wandering aimlessly, being taken advantage of by lowlifes if not for your sage wisdom in creating the Colossal Cock Club. We even made a special exception, and ventured far off into the rainbow to develop a rich, truly stunning blue shirt!

A little bit of a premium on the title. We’re talking between $25.47-45.17 for the shirt that comes with such privilege.

A Bunch Of Bumper Stickers

Representing Colossal Cock Club’s thirty two US Chapters

Time To Feed My Back

Wow! Thank you for perusing Colossal Cock Club! Hey, I don’t ever talk to people so I’m very curious what you think. Don’t be shy.

Cheers!

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